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Q: CAN I JOIN THE FANCLUB? HOW DO I JOIN? IS IT
EXPENSIVE?
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can join! Just
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Q: WHO WAS FRANCIS E. DEC, ESQ.?
A: He was a NY
State lawyer.
Or rather, he used to be one. That was before he was
convicted
and
disbarred for his involvement in
two counts of second degree forgery and second
degree grand
larceny,
as well as fraud in performing his duties as a
notary public. Details remained rather
sketchy
until recently,
but now more
information has been located which can be found
here,
here,
here and
here thanks to Ted Torbich and Mr. Forrest Jackson,
huge fans of Francis E. Dec, Esq.!
After he was excluded from the NY Bar Association and his license to
practice law was revoked,
Francis E Dec started the career for which
he is most widely known today, namely that of an
insane, criminal
menace to this worse Gangster Government. Or, you know, just “insane
kook” if
you like that term better. Either way he would come to
spend the next 20 years or so isolated alone
in his house in
Hempstead NY, furiously typing and sending out mad letters of
warning to thousands
of random households, media outlets and small
businesses all over the United States. From what
I’ve been able to
gather from his writings, it may have been a combination of being
convicted and
disbarred as a lawyer along with the intense isolation
in what he refers to as his “low, deadly
niggertown old house” that
finally drove Mr. Dec over the edge. Although I suspect more than a
fair
helping of
Paranoid Schizophrenia may have been a contributing
factor to his madness, as well.
Whatever the case, the results were
hilarious.
Q: SO YOU THINK
DEC AND HIS DELUSIONS ARE FUNNY?
A: Oh hell yes,
I fucking love this guy. As stated above Dec and his insane
diatribes must truly be
one of the greatest comedic gems of the 20th
century. Even more so since the humor is entirely
unintentional. Dec
really thought he was warning the world of a deadly, vicious
conspiracy by
sending out his mad letters when, in fact, the only
thing he actually succeeded in doing was making
people like me laugh
our asses off at the sheer lunacy of the things he believed were
true. I’m dead
serious here, folks; there’s not a single thing
you could possibly change about his insane beliefs
that would
make them any funnier. If Francis E. Dec was a cartoon character on
TV, he’d have a
cuckoo on a spring that’d jump out of a little door
on his forehead every time he’d say something.
Q: SO WHAT ARE
DEC’S DELUSIONS ALL ABOUT, REALLY?
A: I won’t tell
you. It’d spoil the humor of listening to him for the first time.
Plus, I could go on and
on all day about what Dec’s delusions are
about but the only way of gaining any real understanding
(term used lightly in context) is to actually experience them for
yourself. Like the Matrix. Yes,
almost exactly like the Matrix, come
to think of it.
Q: OK, SO WHAT
EXACTLY IS IT YOU FIND SO FUNNY ABOUT THEM, THEN?
A: Lots of things. For starters; the entirety of Francis E.
Dec's worldview is just so twisted, insane
and demented that it
becomes unintentionally hilarious. It becomes 100% obvious while
listening to
Dec that he really believed everything he wrote about to be true. He
didn't see anything at all strange
in people having
backup-brains in huge cities on the lunar surface or former US
presidents
organizing "sodomy swimming parties" in the back of the
White House. Dec's delusions are simply
so
unspeakably bizarre that
they remind you more of some kind of elaborate parody of
Schizophrenia
than anything else. But there is no parody here,
folks. It's all for real. In Dec's world
both this planet
and the
entire Universe is a twisted, hostile place and everyone and
everything is in
on the giant
conspiracy against him. It's amazing!
Also: everyone is obsessed with anal sex.
Furthermore, Dec had what you might call "a way with words". So
much, in fact, that it becomes
a true joy to read his rants just
because of the sheer humor inherent in his rambling style of
writing.
For example, Mr. Dec's texts are completely riddled with
different forms of recurring alliterations
(like "hopeless
helpless homeless derelicts") which actually gives them a slight
poetic touch. They
are also rife with prime examples of what
clinical psychiatrists refer to as "word
salad", notably in
such gems as the phrases
"Computer God computerized
brainthinking sealed
robot
operating arm
surgery cabinet
machine removal" or "Deadly Gangster ghetto-communist
Gangster Computer God-
manipulated Gangster Court". You have to
read and listen to the rants themselves to understand
what I'm
talking about here. The bottom line is that Dec's style of writing
only serves to further
enhance the already hilarious nature of his
own delusions.
Q: WHAT THE HELL
WAS WRONG WITH DEC, SERIOUSLY?
A: That’s a very,
very good question, but I think I have gathered enough information
to actually
answer it with a good deal of accuracy. As far as I’ve been able to analyze
it, Mr. Dec
probably
suffered from severe acute
Schizophrenia complete with both
hallucinations and paranoid delusions.
My judgment is based on the
many, many symptoms described by Mr. Dec in his rants, many of
which
fit the symptoms of Schizophrenia to a tee. For example, Mr. Dec
repeatedly describes
seeing and hearing things which are not there,
such as “radio noises“ inside his head when sitting
very still or the wife of
felon-gangster Parroting Puppet rectum-lapper sodomus Judge William
Sullivan offering up her anus
for sucking at Dec’s
trial. I think it is pretty safe to say that
neither of
these things ever happened outside of Mr. Dec’s
own mind. Of
course, this complete inability to
separate one’s “inner” world from
the outer, real world
is also a symptom of severe Schizophrenia.
Naturally, there are many different sub-forms of Schizophrenia, all
of which exhibit many different
symptoms. It would be my educated guess that Mr. Dec suffered from
the kind referred to by
Victor
Tausk as "Schizofreniform
Influencing Machine Delusion". In this particular sub-type of
Schizo-
phrenia, the sufferer becomes convinced he or she is controlled and
constantly monitored by an
omnipotent, manipulating machine of some sort or other. One sufferer
was 18th Century paranoiac
James Tilly Matthews, who at length
explained his mad delusions of being "tortured-at-a-distance"
by an influencing machine he referred to as an "Air Loom", which in
turn was operated by a team
of "magnetic spies" who influenced and monitored his thoughts using
"animal magnetism and
Mesmerism". Comparing Matthews delusions to those of Dec's, it is
not at all difficult to see certain
similarities between the "Air Loom" and the "Worldwide Mad Deadly
Gangster Computer God"...
It would also be my educated guess that Mr. Dec was
actually driven to
type up his rants
and
flyers in the first place out of a strong
paranoia and fear of being killed (or as he puts it,
“exterminated”)
by the "Gangster Government". As he raises fears over meeting this
fate in pretty
much every single
letter, it would seem a logical
assumption that he would try to spread the word
about the giant
conspiracy threatening his life to as many people as possible. This
would likely
serve two purposes:
one being to alert others about it and
another to discourage the Lurking
Government Assassins from
murdering him since they’d know he would be missed by at least
some of the recipients of his
letters. This theory is also supported by
Dec himself in one of his
rants, where he explicitly
states: “Now
after all these years, after I've mailed worldwide thousands
of my
letters exposing the
Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God, I
can once again walk
the streets solely as I did
before 1969.”
Q: WHEN WAS
FRANCIS E. DEC BORN?
A: For the first time in over 10 years, I have been able to
to find out more information about Dec than
has been previously known by past researchers. Having
extensively pored over the databases
of the
NARA, more specifically their
World War II Army Enlistment Records, I can now reveal both
Francis
E. Dec's date and place of birth. He was born 1926 in the
state of New York.
Q: WHAT DID
FRANCIS E. DEC LOOK LIKE? IS THE CARTOON VERSION OF HIM ON THIS
PAGE SIMILAR TO HIS ACTUAL APPEARANCE?
A: No, it is not. When I originally created the cartoon
version of Dec I - like most other people - was
largely unaware of
what Dec actually looked like and just extrapolated wildly based
on the general
impression of his personality that I got from his rants. The
resulting caricature was a choleric and
almost-insane looking unshaven maniac with a shock of crazy, unruly
white hair and a solid jaw to
indicate moral righteousness in the face of a million corrupt
gangsters. However; the real Dec in his
heyday probably did not look very, if even at all, similar to my
cartoon caricature of him. I think my
caricature of him is more in keeping with what his actual
personality must've been like, though.
Q: WHERE DID
FRANCIS E. DEC LIVE?
A: He appears to
for his entire life have been a citizen of Long Island, NY. More
specifically of
Hempstead. His exact address was 29 Maple Ave. It is
unknown if he were born on Long Island or
if this took place elsewhere in the state of New York.
Q: WHEN DID FRANCIS E. DEC DIE?
A: As of
October 2006, brand new
never-before-known information about Mr. Dec's exact time of
death has been located, thanks to Decologist Ted Torbich. It was
early in 1996 when Dec left this
Gangster controlled-and-manipulated
worse ghetto-Communist mortail coil, something which took
place at the St. Albans VA Extended Care
Facility in Queens, NY. For (much) more info
on Dec's
life (and death), see the Official
Timeline!
Q: DID DEC HAVE
ANY FAMILY?
A: Yes he did. His
rants identify the existence of a single brother named Joseph I.
Dec, whom Dec
refers to as a “deadly felon-murderer and secret
assassin-spy agent against me for this Gangster
Government”. They
seem to have lived together in the same house on 29 Maple Ave,
Hempstead,
NY up to 1966 when Joseph moved out. According to
Francis, Joseph beat him repeatedly and had
anal sex with loose
women while Dec hid in the garage. Given the nature of Dec’s mental
health,
these statements had better be taken with a grain of salt.
Or an entire truckload. Francis E. Dec
also had a mother named Rose M. Dec and a father named John F. Dec,
both of which immigrated
to the US from Poland and spoke fluent Polish.
Q: IS THAT DEC’S
VOICE I HEAR IN THE AUDIO RECORDINGS?
A: No, it is not.
The rants are read and recorded by one Boyd Britton, better known as
“Doc
on the
ROQ”. See the “About” -section for more info on him.
The voice work for the two rants
"A
TERRIBLE PRISON SENTENCE" and "The
Top-Secret Dual Food
Standard" were done by
yours truly.
Q: DID DEC
OFFICIALLY TITLE EACH OF HIS RANTS?
A: Not having seen
most original rants themselves but instead only having listened to
them being
read, I can’t be sure. Instead, I have simply gone with
the ancient Sumerian practice of naming an
epic after the first line
contained therein, as per the Sha Nagba Imuru. The exceptions
to this rule
is
the rant “LONG Island Lunacy” which was
expressively given the title in question by Doc Britton,
as well as the two new rants "A
TERRIBLE PRISON SENTENCE" and "The
Top-Secret Dual Food
Standard", which were named by yours truly and Decologist Ted
Torbich respectively.
Q: YOU’RE
PROFITING FROM POOR MR. DEC’S INSANITY AND SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF
YOURSELF, YOU BAD MAN, YOU!
A: This entire page
is 100% non-profit and will so always remain. As such, I do not make one
single, solitary dime
from it. I
do not sell anything and don't have one of those "Donate Via Paypal"
-buttons on the website. I
built this page solely to pay homage to and to celebrate Mr.
Dec, as well
as spread his humor to
brand
new generations worldwide
(as a Frankenstein slave). I do not profit
in any way what so
ever
from
anything you see here. Not from Mr. Dec, nor from the recordings of
Doc Britton, nor from the work of anyone else. Not one dime.
Instead, I hope to be giving Mr. Dec
the official comedic recognition he sadly never
received
in life.
Q: FRANCIS E. DEC
WAS OBVIOUSLY AN INSANE RACIST AND YOU MUST BE TOO
BECAUSE YOU
PUBLISHED HIS RANTS. I HOPE YOU DIE IN A FIRE, YOU LOUSY COCK-
SUCKER!
I WILL RUN YOU OVER WITH MY SAILBOAT! RRRAARRRGGHHH!!!
A: Did you even
read the fucking disclaimer, moron? Otherwise, I suggest you
do
so now. It’s not
there just for clicking through, you know. Yes, it
is true that Dec was an insane racist anti-Semite,
but his hatred
did not limit itself to any specific groups of people; he
hated everyone with equal
passion. Dec seriously believed
everybody was in on the massive conspiracy against him,
including
black people and Jews. And the Catholics. And the
Communists. And the Police and judges. And
Ronald Reagan. And Jimmy
Carter. And so on and so forth. This is part of what is so funny;
the
unintentional humor inherent in his massive paranoia.
Furthermore, publishing an insane madman’s crazy rants and
thinking they’re funny does not
make me share his opinions,
you dumbass. I’m not celebrating Dec’s racism here, but instead his
unintentional humor. If you can’t see that humor you are obviously
looking at the wrong website. Go
someplace else instead; I’m not
forcing you to read this.
Q: ARE THERE ANY
OTHER WEBSITES WHICH CHRONICLE THE LIFE AND TIMES OF
MR. DEC?
A: You bet. Not many, granted, but a few. I myself first
heard about Francis E. Dec from the site
The Kooks Museum which is a great site run by Ms. Donna
Kossy that has been online for more
than 10 years. It has a
section on Dec along with lots of other wackos. Some of my info
on Dec is
borrowed from this site, although most of it was actually
extrapolated from the rants themselves. If
you like both kooks and
Donna's site about them, you should also
check out her book!
Also be sure to check out Mr. Forrest Jackson's account of
actually meeting Francis E.
Dec, Esq. In the flesh! On his DEATHBED! Definitely a worthwhile
read!
For more info on Dec, please check out
Dec's Appeal Brief, the
response to Dec's Appeal Brief,
and Dec's reply to this response;
all of which were dug up by Mr. Ted Torbich, a huge fan of Dec.
The Appeal response is also currently hosted on
Mr. Jacksons website.
Q: HOLY SHIT, I HAVE MORE INFO ON DEC WHICH ISN'T YET ON THIS SITE
OR HITHERTO
UNPUBLISHED RANTS BY HIM!
A: If you have ANY info on the man, the myth, the
legend Francis E. Dec, Esq., please get in touch
with me
immediately! Information on Dec can lead to big things, such
as swift and immediate
promotion if'n you're a
member of the Dec Fanclub! See this page for details on how you can con-
tribute to
the fanclub. Also: If
you have unpublished rants, I will pay money for them. However,
ANY info on Dec is welcome,
so
please feel free to get in touch with me today! Alternatively, you
could also check out the forum
if you'd like to chat with fellow
Dec-fans!
Q: HEY, YOU MISSED A QUESTION, DUMMY!
A: If you think I
missed something in this FAQ, please get in touch with me and let me
know!
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