Glad you appreciate DD. As a couple of well-known philosophers once said of a chap called Squatter: "I just wish him luck, and a strange sort of happiness." Though to the best of my knowledge Dave doesn't have any problem with ants.
I used to know him quite well for a while, but eventually I deliberately lost touch with him because he used to turn up at random intervals and go on and on and on for hours about exactly the same stuff every time, which got dull very quickly. And it was always more of a monologue than a discussion because what could I say? There was no logic involved whatsoever, except that anything said by the government - any government - about anything was automatically untrue, and usually such a big lie that it revealed the truth by mistake - all you had to do was assume the exact opposite.
Here are two examples from the horse's mouth (I have no idea whether anybody else on the planet believes these particular factoids):
One: since every cigarette packet in the UK bears a government health warning, tobacco, which is after all a natural herby substance, must really be good for you, and the only reason you get lung cancer from smoking it is the awful poisons the government impregnates cigarette papers with. When I asked him about pipe tobacco he got confused and changed the subject.
Two: it's a complete lie about the Ozone Layer gradually disappearing. That's just an excuse to fool us into wearing sunglasses which concentrate the harmless and indeed healthful rays of the Sun in such a way as to gradually make us all go blind and develop brain cancer.
At this point I asked why on earth any government, however evil, could possibly find it in any way useful to give a random cross-section of its population a terrible disease, and he just looked at me as if I'd said, OK smartarse, if Santa isn't real, where do my presents come from?, and replied: "Because that's what governments do..."
That being said, Dave is, as you observed, a curiously pleasant, obviously well-meaning, and unexpectedly happy fellow. From some random passage in his many online writings I gather that he spent quite some time in a mental institution, which surprises me not at all. Yet people like him really shouldn't be in such places. What's the point of drugging and confining them when all it achieves is to make them miserable at considerable expense to the state?
Obviously you have to do that with the small minority of the mentally ill who are a real danger to others, and those who simply cannot function at all. But in Dave's case, he's quite happy to be incurably insane, and since he's not doing any harm, holds down a job, and has even become a peculiar sort of minor celebrity who I daresay some people take seriously (even if many of them are at least halfway mad too), why not let him get on with it?
I have no doubt that in a slightly less technological culture than ours, he'd be the tribal shaman. Well, that or burnt at the stake - swings and roundabouts, y'know.
He's a classic example of magical thinking. Any sane person would assume that, if you knew the things he thinks he does, life would be Hell. Oh but wait just a minute... In order to appreciate where Dave's head is really at, you should take 3 minutes out to listen to this:
http://abmp3.com/download/4989029-secret-agent-man.htmlIt's really not so bad, is it? I mean, most people think he's just an ordinary guy who cleans trains, but really he knows all these amazing explosive secrets, and they're all out to get him but he's too clever for them... What have you ever done that's as exciting as that, eh? Would he be happier if all he was was a recovering loony pushing a broom?
Oh, and while you're at it, go to this website I discovered while looking for that track -
http://www.danger-man.co.uk/music.asp- and listen to "He Who Rides A Tiger" - I think this is my new favourite bad song ever! You really couldn't write a more sublimely dreadful line than: "Love is like a tiger - it keeps you awake at night." Whatever happened to Patsy Ann Noble?
I think if I was a real Supervillain my cover identity would be a suave early sixties lounge singer singing that song even more badly surrounded by go-go girlies in tiger costumes, and in my dressing room would be an elevator to the underground base where I'd plot to teleport a giant one-eyed kamikaze psychic squid to New York and kill everybody for a joke. As you do. Ah well, we can but dream...
Unless you're Dangerous Dave, in which case you live it. In a strange way I envy him, because when you live in a world you made up yourself, what are the chances of anything happening that's too complex for you to understand? Now, the real world, on the other hand...
By the way, much of Dave's notoriety derived from his being one of the first people in the UK to put forward the Reptoid theory, including such bizarre details as the Duke of Edinburgh being one of them. Since I remember seeing people who had researched UFOs in a far from critical way for decades being gobsmacked on encountering a theory beyond their wildest dreams of bonkersness, I'm pretty certain that he got there way before David Icke.
His source - and possibly the source of the entire myth - was a truly gigantic multi-volume privately-printed work called
The Matrix (the title of the movie is presumably not a coincidence) which came out just before the internet made such things irrelevant. Dave paid what would probably be about £1000 in today's money for it, but thanks to the miracle of modern technology, you can download the whole lot for nothing (and worth every penny) here:
http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/3561928/Val_Valerian_-_Matrix_SeriesThe author, one "Valdemar Valerian", is apparently the same person who wrote various surprisingly erudite quasi-scientific papers under the name "O. H. Krill" and "leaked" them to the wilder fringes of the UFO community in the eighties, claiming they were written by the alien captured alive at Roswell, whose name is Krlll - the "O. H." stands for either "Omnipotent Highness" or "Original Hostage" depending on whether you ask Krlll or the US military.
Both of these individuals also seem to be quite closely related to John Grace of the Nevada Aerial Research Organisation. And there, I think, you have the Typhoid Mary - and possibly also the Patient Zero - of Reptoid Fever. Grace is obviously a vastly more intelligent man than David Icke, since he thought of it rather than just latching uncritically onto it, and therefore more interesting - any research you or anyone else plans to undertake should, I think, take a much closer look at him than his better-known but less talented successors.
Does John Grace mean it? Obviously the O. H. Krill material is deliberately fake. Yet would anybody who doesn't believe in what he's doing on some level create this sheer volume of work just for a joke? My guess is that it started as a prank and he got swept up in the tide of madness. Lovecraft was right - there are some books that aren't safe to read, let alone write! I have no information as to whether John Grace has been ever devoured in broad daylight by invisible demons in the market-place of Damascus (or indeed anywhere else), but it would be entirely in character if he was.
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Here's a man who lives a life of danger... (Read 2425 times)
